The notion that children of the 1960s and 1970s became emotionally resilient due to a more permissive parenting style is a fascinating one. However, recent research suggests that this might not be the case. Instead, it appears that these kids learned to navigate life's challenges through a process of self-regulation, which is often stifled by overparenting in today's society. This raises a deeper question: how do we strike the right balance between caring and controlling when it comes to raising our children?
In my opinion, the key to understanding this lies in the concept of self-regulation. This is the ability to manage one's emotions and behavior without external intervention, and it's a crucial skill for navigating life's ups and downs. But how do we foster this skill in our children? The answer, it seems, lies in allowing them to experience a certain level of discomfort and frustration, which they can then learn to manage on their own.
One thing that immediately stands out is the role of play in this process. Unstructured free play in preschool, for example, has been shown to predict stronger self-regulation two years later. This is not to say that organized sports or supervised activities are bad, but rather that child-directed, freely chosen play is essential for developing this skill. In fact, a 2015 systematic review by Mariana Brussoni at the University of British Columbia found that 'risky play' - play involving manageable physical risk like climbing or roughhousing - is associated with positive outcomes in physical health and social development.
However, the environment in which children grow up has changed significantly. A Nuffield Foundation report found that low independent mobility is widespread, with parents citing traffic as the main reason for keeping their children from going out alone. This is not just a matter of excessive caution; it reflects a real perceived danger in the built environment. Schools, too, have added their own restrictions, with risk management dominating over policies designed to promote play. As a result, children lose the chance to learn risk judgment through direct experience.
This raises a deeper question: what can parents do to support their children's development of self-regulation? The answer, it seems, lies in striking the right balance between caring and controlling. The Cambridge meta-analysis concluded that overparenting is a 'modifiable risk factor' for anxiety and depression, meaning that it is a variable that parents and practitioners can adjust. While the effect sizes were modest, reducing overprotective and controlling behaviors may shift the odds in favor of better mental health outcomes.
In conclusion, the notion that children of the 1960s and 1970s became emotionally strong due to better parenting is a complex one. While there are certainly lessons to be learned from the past, it's important to recognize that the environment in which children grow up has changed significantly. By fostering self-regulation through play and allowing children to experience a certain level of discomfort, we can help them develop the skills they need to navigate life's challenges. But ultimately, it's up to each parent to strike the right balance between caring and controlling, and to support their children's development in the best way they can.
